Dutch Groceries

Some funny things from the Dutch grocery store:

I spend a lot of time in Amsterdam and I still find things at the grocery store that I find baffling. Here are a few of my favorites.

1. Hagelslag:

So, this is something that was probably invented by someone who had random crap in their pantry and was very, very stoned. Take regular bread, slather some nutella on it and then pour sprinkles on it like you're making a first grade art project with glitter. Fold the bread and eat. I've tried this and it tastes like a very marginal doughnut.

2.Paardvlees (horse)

I won't show a picture because it looks just like pastrami or roast beef. This I didn't try because I think my cultural conditioning would prevent my body from accepting horse as a digestible food item.

3.Vla (pudding?)

(image from google)

This one is actually really good, it's yummy pudding that comes in a giant carton. I'm never quite sure how to eat it. Do I pour it in a bowl and use a spoon? Drink it straight from the carton? I don't know. Another funny thing about vla is that it's ridiculously cheap. It's significantly less than the same amount of bottled water. The pudding industry in the Netherlands must be heavily subsidized.

4.“Salad”

This one might actually be the worst.

Have you ever had serious dental work done and someone jokingly says “Oh, I'll just put this meal in a blender and you can drink it with a straw.” It's an actual thing in Holland. (Not the straw part). Above is the tuna flavored “salad.” It's everything you would put in a tuna sandwich all pureed together to make a pale, homogenous goop. It comes in a range of nauseating flavors.They have one called filet american which is just raw beef pureed with onions and god only knows what else.

So my question is this: how do Dutch people eat sprinkles on bread, vats of pudding and horses, and yet there are so few overweight people?